Dear Ms Elizabeth H. Tannen (circa 2019, timeline ref#8658grqx1),
We at Philanthropic Trans-Temporal are very happy to inform you that you have received an inheritance from one of your possible future selves!
We appreciate that this may be hard to believe, but if you check your bank account (******65) you will see that funds totalling $209,680, left to you by Ms Tannen (circa 2087 Timeline ref#8658gqrx0), have indeed been deposited into your account from the future! *
Please read through the pamphlet enclosed for a full explanation of the PTT Pay-It-Back Donation and Self-Inheritance system.**
We hope you enjoy the lifestyle and peace of mind that such a substantial windfall affords you and please be sure to keep Philanthropic Trans-Temporal in mind for any future payments or transfers to the past.
Dr Amanda Dane
CEO and Founder
*If funds are not present, please contact PTT client support on 0800 555 1984.
— We regret that this number is only active AFTER 10-21-19. If your inquiry occurs before the above date, please leave a voicemail message with Abe’s Fishin’ Tackle & Tobacco on 555 1623 814 (be sure to state the date and time to avoid any mental fragmentation due to causal-reverberation triggered by pre-event resolution) and PTT will get in touch as soon as our customer support centre is up and running.
**PTT strongly urges all clients to make themselves familiar with the ‘What Next’ section of the enclosed pamphlet so as to be fully prepared for the physical effects and/or mental strains caused by any retrotemporal branchings, annihilatory convergences, extradimentional geneses and/or any other such paradox-like complications, known or otherwise, that the client may experience due to this fiscal/data temporal redistribution in their timeline.***
***All clients should be aware that a client’s future agreement to any services of PTT or its subsidiaries is retroactively binding under the Temporal Trade, Transfers and Communications act of 2020. As such, PTT cannot be held legally responsible for any injuries, ailments, psychoses, or other effects resulting from PTT’s retro-temporal vector-shift of information within a client’s timeline, on that client’s future-self’s behalf.